While I Transform

Tonight, as  I reflect on the past few months I have been away, I am humbled how God has been moving in and through my life as I Pastor Calvary-Houston. In particular, God has really helped me in identifying who God has created me to be in ministry. Though I am certain I am only at the beginning, I am not afraid to tell
you that much has changed in how I identify myself and how others see me in my transforming. My self-confidence has increased only to the level of my confidence in God at work in me. I see more clearly how much God has forgiven me, corrected me, encouraged me, and continue to call me deeper into the waters of the great unknown. Every new encounter with others, is a fresh encounter with God and every new struggle to endure is a reminder of the past victories God has won through my life. Though I continue to stumble deeper and deeper into the abyss of the unknown with fear and trembling, each step opens a new door of awareness of who God really is and who I am in God.

Along with this new awareness has also come some heartache. Heart felt pain, because I have also become extremely aware of those who I had around me and the need for new relationships that foster my new understanding of self. I have lost some dear friends and gained some incredible ones. I have had the blinders taken off concerning old relationships and my heart re-opened to experience new relationships. During this process of awakening, I have also had old friends become family who I continue to share victories and challenges and been hurt by new relationships as we figure out boundaries and cultural blockades that so often stop us from experiencing true love in Christ.

Overall, it has been an incredible several months of higher highs and lower lows. The next few blog post, I will share some really cool things and people I have encountered like my friend who "pastors" a church but truly only see people as things used to promote themselves; Christians who think the world evolves around them first; my latest attempts by a stalker to destroy my marriage; and a drug dealer who sells only to believers. Yes, I am in the world on a different level these days and I love every tear filled, heart wrenching step.