Criminal Confession I

Here I am again about to do something that I would have rather not; Confess. My confession will probably cause me some shame; perhaps cause some people to turn on me and even usher in the arrival of newly motivated haters. But this morning I realized after a very difficult night that the only way I can move forward on this new journey that God has me on is to confess my crime.

Without turning this into  an episode of the first 48, I am going to just flat out say that the crime I committed was abandoning God.

How in the world did you abandon God? The word “abandon” means to give up, to desert and to withdraw from and as I reflect on the last thirty days that Jess and I have been walking in faith, I realized that I actually had also been feeling that God had abandoned me. So I began to ask myself “can you walk in faith without walking with God?” In my mind, I have been faithful to every, however, when we made the decision to keep following God, it felt as if the doors I expected to be held open were slowly beginning to close, that bright light that illuminated the path and made stepping forward with boldness easy was becoming dim, and the road that had normally been straight had become dangerously disordered. I was feeling like Jess felt in her blog “Determined to find my way”. Check it out at JessnTime

Now don’t try to read between the lines, I am not talking about men and women withdrawing from us…Today J. We all know that can happen. Today, I am talking about me feeling that God was the perpetrator. Have you ever felt that before? But then in the middle of the night or early this morning, the Holy Spirit took me to Jeremiah 31:27 and was reminded even in times when I feel abandoned, God is “Watching over me”. I don’t know about you, but I needed to be reminded of that today. Even in my most difficult times of loneliness and despair, God is watching, protecting, and guiding me (Insert shout here!!!) However, that’s when I also realized that if God had not abandoned me then it must have been me that had attempted to leave God. God said that he would never leave me, but he never said that I could not walk away. And as I reflect… wait. Okay faithful readers this is just part I. I realize that there is more to this story I have to share. So after reading this, please share with five persons on your social network and I will post part II. J